If you are reading this, then you have come to the right place. It pays to be informed and it is said that a wise person learns from their own mistakes but a wiser person learns from others' mistakes. I know you are probably wondering, the blog says embracing motherhood and the title is my childbirth experience yet I'm already talking about mistakes. Well, it's mostly about knowing your options when it comes to labour, giving birth, your birthing environment and all that entails making this a joyous experience for you and your child.
Read on and you'll come to understand exactly what I'm talking about. If you are a first time mama, I have your best interests at heart. If you are not, you'll remember this in future when you come to join the club. And if you have ever given birth more than once before, still, I know you'd like to know a thing or two. At least I know you're curious what a first time mama like myself has to say. After all, you've done it more than once so what do I know? You'd be surprised...They say knowledge is power, aye?
This is because some methods employed in the West are very effective yet we as Kenyans want to maintain a rigid mindset. After all, others have done it this way, right? Wrong. We can make the experience much more joyful and much less traumatic, like mine was. After all, we are in the digital era. All the best!
I gave birth in a public hospital due to financial constraints. Luckily, we had a family friend who worked there though I had just thought that what guys called him, 'doc' was a nickname. Kumbe he was a real doctor! Shock on me. My E.D.D was June 14th but still, no labour pains had come by then. I knew the baby could come 2 weeks earlier or 2 weeks later but they always say, earlier is better because later, the baby comes out tired and even his oh so precious skin comes out wrinkled. So my doctor told me to go to hospital on 16th if the labour pains still had not come. I went to hospital on 15th after the doctor informed me that they were going to strike the coming week and he did not want me to suffer so I better get it over and done with as soon as possible. (wrong move, you should never 'get it over and done with.' You should listen to your body. Believe in it! It knows what it's doing!)
I went to hospital feeling anxious because I had heard that labour pains were so bad it was similar to 20 bones getting fractured at the same time! Already in my mind there was fear, a lot of it. Plus they wanted me to have given birth before they striked. So that added onto the pressure I was already feeling having never given birth before. Anyhu, here are things I did not know:
1. They would check if I had dilated by inserting their hands through my vaginal opening (Ouch!)
2. Once contractions came, I would feel like my whole body was separating itself, literally falling apart!
3. I would bleed A LOT after delivery
So my doctor inserted a KItablet (why wasn't I told this?) that was supposed to help in dilation. As a reflex action I had already held his hand preventing him from doing it because it was very uncomfortable and hurting. Pain and me, na-ah! When I had heard pills, I'd thought I'd swallow them. Yes I did! The process involved being washed down under with some medication to prevent infection then inserting the goddamn thing there. It was a terrifying moment as I was scolded by the doctors for disturbing them. The medicine was supposed to take effect between 6-8 hours and I wasn't supposed to move for at least 2 hours. They would monitor my progress after the 6-8 hours.
My mum was so supportive and came to be with me all throughout the visiting hours. Sadly, she couldn't be with me the whole time like I'd hoped. It was Saturday when I had checked in so Sunday came and the doctor was making rounds monitoring everyone's progress. This is the part I hated the MOST (at least at the time) I heard him scold another woman nearby, "Mama weka matako chini!"and I remember wondering how one's butt could be up while being checked. Didn't make sense.
Then came my turn. He inserted his hand and immediately my body stiffened and guess what? Now I knew how one's posterior could try to make a run towards the heavens. "Mama weka matako chini! I was told. He told me to relax so he could check my progress. I told him to remove his hand so that I could relax. He raised his voice saying he had many patients to attend to. All this while I was feeling so violated (Yeah I know it's a natural part of the procedure, why didn't anyone tell me before?) There I was, trying to relax, there he was, hurrying me. Telling me I was still at 2-3 centimetres. How exactly does one relax in a hurry? Then yoga would involve running marathons not sitting taking deep breaths.
It wasn't my fault there were so many patients to attend to. Every mother has a right to feel special during this time because even if others have done it before, you are YOU, an individual and shouldn't be compared to the masses. I wasn't feeling very special. I was just feeling like a statistic.
The doctor had no choice but to force his hand till where he was supposed to reach as he inserted the 2nd tablet. I yelped, no, screeched out in pain all throughout this as my body tried to escape. I caught the attention of everyone in the labour ward. Plus, there were medicine students together with the doctors so you can imagine the crowd I had. To add insult to injury, the doctor said, "Sasa huyu atazaa aje?" and in between my screaming I retorted, "hata mimi nashangaa."
After they had moved on to other patients, one student lagged behind. He looked at me and he told me, "Don't fear. Just breathe. You can do this." It felt reassuring to hear this... I really needed to hear someone believing in me at the time. Because I didn't really believe I could do it either...
